Breakfast at IKEA

I love rainy days, I may have mentioned this before. This weekend has been superb with all the rain. I like the rain because it gives me an excuse to stay in bed till the afternoon, to watch brain rotting shows and eat ice cream. I’ve done none of the above this weekend, but it’s nice knowing it was a viable option!

Instead I ran errands and ate a hot-dog breakfast at IKEA. I know, seriously, hot dogs for breakfast, I can feel you rolling your eyeballs in disgust. But that is what my radio told me to do this morning.

I was on my way to the coffee shop to use some of the money left on my coffee account when I heard over the speakers “Hot dogs at IKEA, great breakfast food”. I made a right instead of a left and I am happy I did.

I learned something new sitting at that tipsy-turvy, ketchup and mustard stained white IKEA table, sharing my unusual breakfast unexpectedly with a woman and her two little girls.

The smallest was four years old with facial expressions that may give Betty White a run for her money.

It was this little girl that informed me that it’s not in our teens that we may start showing obsessive tendencies towards someone we have decided we like, it is in pre-kindergarten my friends!

“How do you like going to school?”

“I really like it, I have lots of friends. Lots of girls that I am friends with, we talk and play.”

She shrugged her shoulders, held her breath and after the pregnant pause she awkwardly rolled her eyes and continued.

“There is one boy.”

“Uh-huh”, how cute I am thinking she has a crush and she’s going to blush!

“He rides bikes. When I see him I don’t say anything. I just wait for him. He shares.”

“That’s nice of him to share with everyone.”

That is when her face changed. The awkwardness drained and was replaced by an unmistakable confidence. She puffed up her chest, sat a little taller in her chair and declared as loud as her little voice would allow so I would understand.

“He shares ONLY with ME. He likes me and he shares ONLY with me. He shares his bike with me. Just me, nobody else.”

She said it four times just so I got the point. This wasn’t just an ordinary school yard crush, He was Hers even if he didn’t know it and she wasn’t backing down!

A Man’s Attractiveness; One Woman’s Point of View

A Man’s Attractiveness;  One Woman’s Point of View

There is one activity that will win and keep a woman and it is consistency.

I have had enough arguments with the male gender on why women are so enthralled by celebrity crushes and I am here to tell you it is worse than you first thought.

You see it’s not that they live in mansions, drive fancy cars, dine at exclusive dinner clubs and travel the world at will or that they have washboard abs, killer hands, muscular legs or the ability to grow a beard. Those are nice to have’s don’t get me wrong! The real reason for these incredulous crushes comes down to one thing and that is consistency.

You can see the implications of this simple criteria?

Let me explain just to clear up any confusion.

Over the last few months I have developed THE biggest crush on the devilishly handsome Federal Express delivery man. You could say it is his swagger, his impeccable blue steel impression, his dark hair or his killer smile but I assure you, those are simply added bonuses.

What’s really attractive about this beast, who in my mind now rivals Richard Armitage for top crush, is his consistency.

Like Armitage, who in every film I’ve seen of him so far consistently does this thing with his eyes, Mr. FedEx consistently drops off express package’s to the store.

Its not that we know what day he is arriving, it is that the days he does arrive he magically appears between 9:30 am and 10 am.

Its a little like playing the lottery, you know someone might win today, someone will win, you just don’t know when.

It doesn’t even matter that his consistency depends on his employer or his most important need, his pay check.

So you see gentlemen, it isn’t just the silver screen you need to concern yourself with in the quest to win a heart, its much more immediate. It is those men who are being consistently consistent in real-life!

The only option then if you are on a quest for a woman to develop an incredulous crush on you, pick something you do well, do it consistently and keep surprising her! You can’t imagine what you’ll get in return, hey, she might even faint for you. What man doesn’t want a woman fainting over his manny-ly-ness!!

For me, I am going to continue to enjoy my FedEx crush from behind the stack of merchandising, at a safe distance 🙂