My Disappointment

I am preparing for a trip and I love taking books with me.  It’s my equivalent to music. I love looking through my “library” and remembering where I was when I read my books.  The sounds, the smell, the experience’s all come flooding back.

This trip is no except.  I want a book and I know which one.

Off to Indigo.

I find my book.  Stand in line at the checkout.

When it’s my turn the cash associate turns my book over and reads the authors name and exclaims, “You know I didn’t know what Nick Hornby looked like until today.”

I was intrigued.  She continues.

“He came into this store today and came up to my cash and said, ‘I am Nick Hornby, an author stranded in Toronto and I would like to sign some of my books.'”

“Are you serious!” I exclaimed.

My excitement was rubbing off and she lit up, leaned over the counter slightly and jubilantly replied, “Yes, he was here literally 15 minutes ago!!”

Nick Hornby.  I missed him for a pair of shoes and all of a sudden their newness doesn’t seem so bright and I didn’t even get a signed copy of his book.

πŸ™‚

Chapters, the usual

You could say the world feels upside down and yet at the same time right side up.

The days are getting shorter, the temperature is dropping and the light rain pattering on the car roof makes for a perfect night to wander amongst the books at Chapters.

Nostalgia rushes over me as I push through the doors.

I browse the stacks of books on the tables, the history section, poetry, current events, general art and fiction.Β  I skip romance, relationships and food.

It was in the military section where I detected something most unusual. Intently reading a book I caught a glimpse of what appeared to be nude shoes.

Nude Shoes?

After the autumnal equinox?

I look again.

Not nude shoes, it was NO SHOES!Β  I am intrigued.Β  Is this a random event?

I peer around the bookshelf, my eyes following after his pitter-patter on the wood floor.Β  He’s pants are pressed, his 3-quarter length tan jacket is immaculate, his hair coiffed, not a strand out of place and the bottoms of his feet are black.

Where are his socks and shoes?

On Random Life Altering Events as Related to Dating

Growing up, there was no TV in our house. The New Kids On The Block music videos sounded pretty cool especially the Hanging Tough video that included lots of hanging tough arm waving but instead of learning all the dance moves, I was busy building forts in the tree tops and…reading books.

I didn’t realize how shameful and awkward this “no-TV” situation was until the first Gulf war when a grade-four friend was concerned at the lack of a TV in my family’s living room; she cornered me on the playground to debate the devastating effects of my parent’s decision.

“What if the Iraqi’s invade Canada! How would your family and I get to safe hiding in time?”.

And my logical response:

a) we lived in butt-f***-nowhere and I was pretty sure the Iraqi’s didn’t care about bombing our particular remote Canadian city.

b) provided the Iraqi’s were interested in our city, I was pretty certain they wouldn’t promote their intentions through the daily news channel therefore negating the positive effects of owning a TV in the face of possible war.

c) at the end of our street, 20 feet in the air stood the remnants of a WWII air-raid siren that miraculously still worked.

d) the American’s initiated the war, not us peace-keeping Canadians who had nary a bullet in our shiny rifles, what threat were we really?!

Grade-four was equally life-altering not only because of The New Kids On The Block, the start of the first Gulf war and the poignant realization of how dangerously odd it seemed that there was no TV in our house. It was also in grade 4 that as a class we watched The Wizard Of Oz. We didn’t watch it in the comfort of our desks, instead the class gathered in the library/music room at the south end of the school. We sat on the carpeted floor staring up at a 20 inch TV sitting on a metal cart with wheels; the VCR making clicking noises and the screen flickering the entire time.

The class didn’t watch the movie in one whole sitting, it was broken down into segments.

It was during the first segment when we got to the part where the wicked witch enters the long room where she kept her multiple human heads, I’d had enough. I stood up, all my peers sitting quietly, intently watching, anticipating what was to come next. I tip-toed around my classmates sprawled on the floor and left the room.

My concerned teacher followed as any concerned teacher would do and I politely asked if I could be excused from watching the film, suggesting as an alternative that I sit in our classroom and read a book.

Yep that’s right, I wanted to read a book.

My decision to read a book in lieu of watching The Wizard Of Oz with the rest of my classmates brings us to the other fourth-grade life altering realization that didn’t include how ashamed I should feel about the lack of a TV at home.

See there was a boy who decided that he didn’t want to watch the movie either and to this day I can’t decide if he REALLY didn’t want to watch the movie or if he wanted to just sit in the same empty room as me. From grade-four until we graduated High School he was always there like a shadow when I turned around, just there, waiting for me to be nice to him for once? I promise if I bump into him I’ll apologize for a least not being nice.

My dating anxiety grew from those quiet, self-imposed, grade-four reading sessions in a mostly empty classroom. I was a worried little kid realizing for the first time that I couldn’t control which boys decided to like me and there was a possibility I might like some boys more than they liked me. Worse of all, I realized that with enough persistence it was possible that I might be able to be convinced to like someone back as much as they liked me.

Frankly, I was suppose to be the one in control, picking which boys were allowed to like me! But understanding that this was not to be the case and needing to protect my interests, by the time I graduated from High School and dragged myself to College I’d narrowed down the rules on boys and dating to one solid rule.

To sum it up, I unwittingly choose an anthem with dumb lyrics as a guide, you know the one:

Be, be aggressive
B-e, be aggressive
You never know
Just who you’re up against, so
B-e, b-e aggressive
B-e, b-e aggressive

I admit it has evolved over time, however the “be, be aggressive” lyrics did come in handy the time when my idea of short-lived longevity wasn’t exactly shared and interpreted the same way by my date and well, I got a taste of that thing called “the witness protection program” only it wasn’t the law that helped in assigning me a new identity, it was my close friends. πŸ™‚

To dating, staying safe and…in control…whatever that means LOL!!

When Nobody’s Looking…

Since the big night out at Nashville North and my admission of listening to, setting my radio dial and trying out my underwhelming ability of line dancing to country music, I figured why not post a top ten list of ordinary things that I do that I find embarrassing to admit. The REAL embarrassing things I’ll leave till a later date when I am sufficiently acclimatized to dealing with the ridicule πŸ™‚

Here goes my list:

1. ABC’s new tv series GCB. My favourite character is played by Kristin Chenoweth – Carlene. I am not sure you can watch this show and not laugh!! It is a saucy drama about…well…bitchy women masquerading as saints, how could that not be funny?

2. Plenty of Fish. It’s like a dirty activity that nobody wants to admit to doing, but seriously it’s all in how you use it.

3. Singing at the top of my lungs in the car and getting caught by the old man in the car next to me at the light, he gives me a dirty look of shame….is that Britney Spears or N’Sync that she’s listening to?!

4. Listening to and knowing all the lyrics to Def Leppard’s album “Hysteria”. Particularly “Pour Some Sugar On Me.” Come on, it’s a GREAT song!

5. Going all goo-goo-eyed when Ryan Gosling’s look-alike decides to return something to the store. But besides the guilt of not always being able to pull it together, that’s right ladies the twin is in the hood and he wants to know if Shoppers Drug Mart sells Paint Tape! Do I look like an encyclopedia for random household goods and hardware? Ok maybe I do with my nerdy glasses but give me a break ask me for a date and I’ll try not to spill my dinner all over myself! haha. And gentleman, be honest if your Silver Screen dream look-a-like popped into your workplace and started asking random questions, would you be a man and keep it all together?! πŸ™‚

6. Eating a bag of Lays Ketchup chips in one sitting then throwing the bag in the garbage and pretending it didn’t happen. There is nothing quite like a Lays chip (except for Indiana Popcorn obviously)

7. Starbucks, Starbucks, Starbucks. It is not my favourite coffee shop, I agree it is much too commercial and pretentious and I secretly scoff at the regulars that I see at my local shop. Hypocritical? Absolutely, there is only one reason I know they are regulars…

8. But seriously Starbucks is attached to Chapters and Chapters is such a great place to browse for hours on end when a) you don’t feel like going home. b) want to read a book for free and are a germ a-phoebe and have a difficult time using Library books (seriously, what were the five people prior to you doing with their hands before/while/after reading this dog eared, well read book!)

9. Sneaking as many extra packets of raw sugar to help my friend grow her raw sugar packet collection. Why do I do this? I have no idea but I don’t want her to run out because subconsciously I am pretty sure our friendship hinges on the number of packets that she has available at any given time. Of course I am kidding, but seriously it has become my life mission to make sure she is constantly stocked up.

10. Moving that stack of clothes that needs hanging up from my bed to my drying rack, night after night promising “I’ll hang it up tomorrow when I am less busy.” Really? Less busy? I promise to hang everything up tomorrow πŸ˜›

And there you have it my top ten list of things I do that at some point have been met with embarrassment when caught.

What are yours? πŸ˜‰

“Escape from Cubicle Nation”

I should be in bed but I am compelled to get all the words out of my head so I can sleep tonight! Plus I am listening to an old electronica cd (I know, I can hear all the music snobs sighing πŸ™‚ )

Today I spent an hour at Chapters searching for a book on business that I’d seen a while back on one of their open display tables. I’d written down a quote from the book that I liked that I was going to send to a friend. I never sent the quote and didn’t think to take down the author’s name or the name of the book. I only remember that I was a little embarrassed by the title of the book and almost didn’t pick it up!

I’ve been thinking about this book for a few months now and went to the book store in search of an embarrassing titled book in the business section.

I didn’t find the book I was looking for but was pleasantly surprised to find “Escape from Cubicle Nation” by Pamela Slim. This book encapsulate’s so many things my friends, coworkers and acquaintances and I have discussed numerous times about “cubicle nation”.

Because I do not have a large bank account and can’t afford a lawsuit (even though that nice man gave me his business card?! Another story for another day!) I will not start typing out the book, but next time you are in Chapters I highly recommend picking up this book and flipping through it, even buying it for your own personal library.

Escape from Cubicle Nation From Corporate Prisoner to Thriving Entrepreneur