We’ve all been cornered at some point in our lives, perhaps at the water cooler, by a veteran romanticist who has travelled religiously to Niagara Falls with their significant other. Gushing about their past romantic licentiousness, somewhere in a hotel room on a 20th floor of one of the many hotel towers overlooking the Falls. You’ll know them by the gaudy, boxed, back-lit photo of Niagara Horseshoe Falls sitting on their desk, the revolving light behind the plastic photo panel creating the illusion of 85,000 cubic feet of water flowing over the rock bed per second.
For that very reason alone I made it my life mission to NEVER travel to Niagara Falls for a romantic getaway. So what happened? How on earth did I find myself in Niagara Falls for 12 hours without once seeing the inside of a casino?
The short answer, for 12 months exactly I’ve puzzlingly lost my ability to negotiate for myself what I consider a “best deal” in a relationship, and so it was up to me to make the most of being entangled in what I concede to be a romantic weekend getaway.
Here is my top 10 list of what makes for a perfect romantic weekend getaway in Niagara Falls 🙂 :
1. Wait for a Polar Vortex to descend on your chosen destination, the colder it is outside the better the experience from frost bitten ears, runny noses and ice crystals forming around the mouth.
2. Bring your American pennies, pennies are a thriving currency in Niagara Falls even though it is a part of Canada and in Canada the penny is no longer in circulation, Niagara Falls operates it’s own monetary policy which integrates the American penny as an acceptable currency for change at cash.
3. Visit Lundy’s Lane and make fun of the other tourists who make a stop at the minimalist Outlets as a highlight of their Niagara Falls tour. Smugly pretend to have not purchased anything.
4. Bring your warmest down filled jacket to your romantic dinner. The drafty winery may look cozy in the photos, but do not be fooled, romance IS being wrapped in your winter gear, not in showing off your hard earned pecks and biceps in an off-the-shoulder little black number.
5. Swap seats during dinner, it confuses the wait staff and you will be rewarded with a dish you did not order.
6 . Put your face on for buffet style breakfast, breakfast is just not the same until you spend an hour on your makeup and hair. It is vital to be properly coiffed amongst the vagabonds who’ve shown up for the same breakfast in their tracksuits, ball caps and flip flops.
7. At the omelet station, order your omelet “rare”, eggs are cooked similar to beef; rare, medium-rare, well-done.
8. Split the hotel bill even if you hog more than 50% of the bed or spend more than your fair share of time in the restroom.
9. Make sure you have a Fallsview room.
10. Arrive with someone special.
To all the romanticists with whom I crossed paths this weekend, please forgive my antics, dinner wear, breakfast etiquette and my confusion over the currency rules, I promise I was doing my best to navigate and be part of this new romantic-sub-culture.
To all my fellow Sworn-off-Niagara-Falls-Romantic-Weekend-Getawayers, there is something magical about sitting in a hotel room with someone you care about, watching the falls and refusing to leave the room for fear of being trapped by Clifton Hill or a kitschy strip mall. 🙂
One thought on “The Romantic Weekend Getaway”
Niagara Falls weekenders….AAAArrrrgh !! …still have the snow globe someplace.