Sending a care package of stuff has never been so adventurous as when I dropped by the local Canada Post outlet a few weeks ago. It was a simple, flat package filled with important papers and it needed sending.

Either it is not as straightforward a process or else I did everything possible to make it the most complicated mailing event EVER.

What I needed:

– a package delivered to Sweden, no Switzerland, no Sweden – too many countries that start with “S”. My great grandmother was from Switzerland, my best friend lives in Sweden. I have yet to visit either country. That’s a reasonable enough explanation for my mix up?! Ya?!

– a tracked package, it would make me feel better knowing at what point the package became MIA – reasonable enough.

– a signature upon reciept, again who doesn’t imagine hiring a forensic Scientist who specializes in analyzing signatures … to catch a thief?

Simple enough.

After hearing the available options “International”, “Express”, “Priority”, “Signature”, “No signature”, “Tracked”, “Not tracked”, I chose a method of delivery.

He rang up my order, I paid.

The printed paper postage spit out of the printer. The clerk started preparing to apply it to the package when I stated to myself “she’ll have to sign for this then when it arrives.”

He stopped, looked up at me puzzled, “No, this is the International Priority Mail, this one you can track but a signature isn’t necessary.”

I was confused. He was confused. I probably did say the words “Priority Mail” but meant a method by which a “Signature” is required which translates to “Express Post”.

He was patient, refunded the “Priority Mail” and rang up an “Express Post”.

He handed me paper work to complete, no fancy printer postage for “Express Post”. The form was somewhat confusing, so talking as I wrote,

“Ahhh, mmmm, where I do I fit this long odd address in…well at least I can identify where the Country name goes,” and I moved my pen over the box with the name Country in the top left hand corner and said proudly, “SWEDEN.”

The Canada Post guy almost jumped over the counter, raised his voice and sharply intoned, “Did you just say Sweden!”

“Yep,” I responded and continued writing.

“You realize you asked for postage to SWITZERLAND,” he evenly replied and continued, “make sure you don’t mail yourself home tonight, I am afraid at this point you wont make it”

And with that he began a second refund and a re-ring on a third mail slip.