The Hero Burger Set-up

Today, against my better judgment, I decided on having a Hero Burger.  The young girl on cash took my order.  Beside her was an older women who started chatting me up. She asked me where my co-workers were (seems a fair number of people from my office building eat at this location, but apparently not today). In her attempt to help me, help her with her slow sales day, she gave me a handful of menu’s to “take back to the office and hand out”.  I obliged.  I mean what was I going to do, throw them in her face and say NO!!!
We kept chatting about random unimportant things as I waited. I don’t even really remember exactly what the conversation entailed, but I do remember laughing here and there. 

In the middle of our random conversation, she dipped down below the counter, disappearing from sight. Popping back up she handed me a card.  On one side was a picture of a man in a suit with the tag line “Suits, $150 and up…” and on the other side was a picture of a women in a bikini with the tag line “Free Thong Bikini, No Purchase Necessary!”

The woman leaned in towards me and said, “This is what I do for a living, I own a store and I sell bikini’s.  My husband and son run this place and I come here to help out.  You should come by my store.”  She paused, looked behind her and continued, “Sergio, my son, he sells the suits.  He’s in the back there with my husband now.” 

I nod politely and continue waiting for my burger when I notice her motioning to me out of the corner of my eye.

“Oh, there he is now, there is my son Sergio!” 

I turned and there he stood, her son. He had miraculously made his way from the back kitchen out to the front of the store. 

Sergio sheepishly twisted off the top of his empty coke bottle and started filling up at the drink machine.  She motioned again to me and in a near whisper said, “He is the one who sells the suits”

I nodded. She turned and disappeared. Sergio was standing there, looking at me, still as a statue.

Then I got the hint, I was suppose to engage in conversation!

Politely I said hello and mentioned the obvious, I was waiting for my burger. 
“The 8oz.!” He stated rather than asked.

“No, that’s much too big for me, the 4oz., baby steps Sergio, baby steps.”
He laughed and responded, “Well next time you’ll need to get the 8oz. you will not be disappointed.  Then you’ll understand what you’ve been missing out on!!’
“Thanks for the tip.” I replied and we stood for a few long awkward moments looking at each other.
He finally pointed towards the kitchen, “I’ve got to get back to work.”

I nodded and breathed a sigh of relief.
I continued waiting and waiting and waiting.  I noticed Sergio and his dad periodically bobbing and peeking out under the red visor that sits in the window separating the front cash from the kitchen.  I did my best to ignore them and focus on getting my burger.

Finally my burger was ready.  

As Sergio’s Dad placed the nicely wrapped burger onto the take-out tray, he leaned below the red plexi-glass, looked me square in the eyes and gave me a hard wink with his right eye.
I shivered, flashed him a polite smile and left the restaurant with as much dignity as I could muster.

4 thoughts on “The Hero Burger Set-up

    1. {Fact} … and un-instigated …

      I wonder who was the most interested party and for what purpose (in order of appearance):

      A) Mom
      B) Sergio
      C) Dad

      I just hope the bun, condiments and patty were all handled with rubber clad gloves at all times and nothing else.

      Did I mention, mom specifically asked for my name and she fumbled it 🙂 that made me smile – I should have been called (no disrespect!!) Jane.


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